Roswell

Captain's Log, as thick as my left tentacle and twice as long...and Gus forgot to refill the damned toilet paper again. GUS...!

Now that Whip has his learner's permit, I have to spend a crapload of time teaching him the difference between braking and speeding. Worse, during our latest lesson, some Gray freaks in a flying saucer cut us off, backed into us, and then had the balls to demand that I pay them damages! It was obviously a scam, so I grabbed the wheel and took off. They chased us, which didn't shock me (after all, I always hate it when my scam victims run away). I plunged the ship into a wormhole to ditch them, but they followed us through.

Next thing we knew, we'd all crash-landed together in a place called Roswell, in the mind-blowingly lame year of 1947, on some backwater dirtball called Earth. The Jupiter 42 was banged up, but we were way luckier than our pals in the flying saucer. They'd crashed near a military base, and the local cavemen confiscated them and their ship.

I would've liked to write the Grays off, but the Jupiter 42's fuel rods were shot. We needed to steal the rods from the Grays' saucer. That meant sneaking into the base.

Six, T'Nuk and I dressed up in typical period garb and bamboozled the base commander into letting us waltz right in. Whip and Gus, meanwhile, snuck in on a military truck. We all hooked up in the hangar to break into the flying saucer, but the damn thing had an ultra-grouchy security system that shut us out. If we didn't get the access code from the rightful owners, we were going to be trapped in this Stone Age hell forever.

We found the scam artists playing dead in one of the base laboratories. Unfortunately for them, some dude called the President of the United States (who was apparently a big-deal V.I.P. on this primitive crapball planet) couldn't wait to see some slimy, alien-autopsy action.

Thinking fast, I sent Whip to grab a few toys from the Jupiter 42 while Six and I disguised ourselves as autopsy doctors. We smuggled the saucer snots out the back door just as the President discovered that his supposed "aliens" were nothing but two sex dolls ?which I really hated to give up, I might add.

Because of that noble sacrifice by yours truly, we all made it back to our own stretch of space-time. Since then, Six has been working overtime to make up for my aforementioned noble sacrifice, so life is pretty damn sweet.

Six, Chode, Gus, T'Nuk, Whip, Spaceship Bob, Darph Bobo, Adam, Alien Gray Male, Alien Gray Female

A humorous and sexy send-up of all things SF, following the adventures of The Free Enterprise, a smuggling vessel led by a stumpy purple alien named Chode, who, along with his colorful group of misfit shipmates, battles arch-enemies and new obstacles in space each week.

Chode's crew includes Six, a sexy cyborg who happens to be the most advanced android ever created; Gus, Chode's sexually confused and verbally abused robot slave; T'Nuk, the ship's esthetically challenged pilot; and Whip, Chode's teenage slacker nephew. Spaceship Bob is the fastest ship in the galaxy.

3D animation.

The Sci-Fi Channel's first-ever original animated series.

Based on a Web short film of the same name, which debuted on Level13.net in November 1999, and which won the grand prize in the Playboy Animation Contest in 2000.